Choose Your Weapon

[akirlu]

Whole Foods has moved in just down the hill from us, so we are starting to shop there occasionally. I'm not fully re-adjusted to their produce nomenclature. This morning, in the act of taking a banana out of the hanging basket, I thought to myself, "Mmmmm, conventional bananas."

Me: You know, I normally think of the opposite of "conventional X" as being "nuclear X".

Hal: Hmmmmm?

Me: Well, what I want to know is, where are the nuclear bananas?

Hal: Only a terrorist would want to know that.

Comments

[eleanor.livejournal.com]

And I wonder how they know so much about the private lives of fruit and veggies, and if it's a violation of produce privacy to give us that information.

Hm.

[hal-obrien.livejournal.com]

Just what are you trying to say about "Vanilla Coke," exactly?

Re: Hm.

[akirlu.livejournal.com]

It's dead, Jim.

Re: Hm.

[eleanor.livejournal.com]

Don't get me wrong; I don't think there is anything wrong with Vanilla Coke. Just that it's a matter that only concerns two consenting cans of coke.

Don't they have the Soft Drink Privacy Act on the other coast?

Re: Hm.

[akirlu.livejournal.com]

No, we're a little behind the times out here. We do have someone proposing state legislation that will require heterosexual married couples to have their marriages annulled if they don't have children within three years.

Re: Hm.

[urlgirl.livejournal.com]

I love that someone's pushing this, btw. It just goes to show the ridiculousness of maintaining that the purpose of "marriage" is procreation.

Re: Hm.

[eleanor.livejournal.com]

I saw that -- so excellent. The only possible reason to limit marriage to a man and a woman is because you believe the purpose of a marriage is to produce offspring and I'm all for taking things to a logical extreme.

Re: Hm.

[barondave.livejournal.com]

Cherry Coke signed a chastity vow while Vanilla Coke wanted a simple relationship. Neither lived up to the promise, leading to their bastard offspring Cherry Vanilla Coke.

Re: Hm.

[eleanor.livejournal.com]

OK, that made me snarf. But the Soft Drink Privacy Act prohibts me from telling you what I snarfed.

[urlgirl.livejournal.com]

*guffaw*

[madwriter.livejournal.com]

>>Me: Well, what I want to know is, where are the nuclear bananas?

Hal: Only a terrorist would want to know that.<<

You could probably find locations of nuclear bananas in the almanac.

Er...

[kateyule.livejournal.com]

I am reminded of seeing plants labeled "Sessile Trillium" at the botanical gardens in Madison.

Made me quite nervous, really.

Re: Er...

[akirlu.livejournal.com]

Well, and quite rightly. But while I'm pretty sure I never want to meet a motile trillium, I can think of things I want to meet even less: motile giant hogweed, for instance.

[jry.livejournal.com]

One of the entries in last weekend's SF Short Film Festival at the Cinerama was titled "Atomic Banana". Here's a Trailer. You probably wouldn't want to eat the banana in question.