Magic, and Other Perversity

[akirlu]

Or, The Girl Who Mistook Her Pocket Knife for a Phone

How exactly is it that a set of leggings or shoes that are definitely, most assuredly black in the bedroom (yes, with the lights on) and even in front of the bathroom mirror --generally unerring at picking up any unflattering flaw-- suddenly become navy the minute I step out the front door? I think I shall have to purge my closet and drawers of anything navy, because it's that or start getting dressed on the back patio. Meanwhile, someone more vain would take the damn hose off to look less of a right charlie, and someone more practical would shrug and keep them for warmth, but middling me, I believe I shall just fret over it all day. I suppose I could cut one leg off. Off the hose, I mean. Otherwise it would have to be both. Legs, that is.

And sometime between the drive in to work (ethnically correct dancing in Phinney Ridge tonight, ergo must have car) and walking out of the parking structure, my phone teleported from my left jacket pocket, where I was sure I had it, to the kitchen counter at home, where Hal very sweetly verified it was. The lump in my pocket turned out to be my Wenger.

Furthermore, Naturalizers or not, and better for pivoting turns or not, the day to start breaking in a pair of shoes is probably not the same day you plan to spend two hours dancing in them. I'm praying that wearing brown shoes with navy stockings will be punishment enough for my sins. Why didn't I just persist until I found a pair of nude hose? God I'm a mess.

Meanwhile, The Mountain was out behind Microsoft for the first time in a while. I never stop marveling at the piercing, almost erotic shock of beauty at first sight. "Hel-LO, Gorgeous," says I.

Comments

[kateyule.livejournal.com]

When we had a big square dance convention here (Portland) in '98, at the hotels along the Columbia River, non-locals were always quite amused at the locution "The mountain's out".

Until the clouds cleared and they saw it themselves for the first time.

And that's just Mt. Hood. Rainier, from Seattle -- that'll give a person religion, that will.

[akirlu.livejournal.com]

There's a story, possibly true, but certainly plausible, of an executive who moves to Seattle in autumn, and is the sort of fellow who gets a corner office in a downtown highrise. Months go by, and then one morning when he walks into his office the entire corridor is treated to his cry of, "Jesus, what the fuck is that?!"

Religion indeed.

[kalimac.livejournal.com]

The great thing about that story is that you don't need to be told which corner of the building his office is in.

[holyoutlaw.livejournal.com]

Yeah! I could see the corner even before the punchline. Hah!

[holyoutlaw.livejournal.com]

I heard "the mountains were out today" before moving here and it really cracked me up. How could a mountain be out? Isn't it just there?

[alces2.livejournal.com]

What is "ethnically correct dancing"?

I have had a similar problem with socks but my jeans usually totally cover said socks besides which someone would have to get low and close to actually get a good look at the socks. Sometimes while matching socks in the laundry room different shades of black and dark blue are very hard to tell apart and if the texture/pattern of the socks are very similar I think I do mismatch socks. However since I cannot tell while staring at them in a room with a relatively bright light I consider it somewhat unlikely that someone checking out my socks (why they would do this I do not know) could actually tell.

Ah, fretting all day is the far more satisfying methodology for dealing with a situation. It is somewhat similar to slowly picking at a scab, but this one is more mental than physical.

What is a Wenger? Oh wait, rereading the title I'm going to guess a Wenger is a pocket knife. Yes? No? I'm not familiar with a Wenger pocket knife. Ah, google verifies it is indeed a knife brand. I'm more familiar with Boker, SOG, Puma, Spyderco, Gerber, Columbia River, Camillus, et al.

I've never had a problem on a first day with New Balance or Birkenstock. Fortunately I can get both with no leather (it's a vegetarian/animal rights thing with me).

Speaking of mountains and such one of these days I have this desire to go to Kentucky and search out a supposedly tiny town (which may, at this point be nonexistent) called Mattingly. It looks like it is someplace in a fairly hilly/mountainous region. Who knows how many inbred cousins/relatives I may have there.

[akirlu.livejournal.com]

Ethnically correct in my case is Swedish. I'm taking a Scandinavian dance class.

Wenger is one of the two canonical brands of Swiss Army knife; Victorinox being the other. I am seldom without one, outside bed & bath. Spyderco et alia tend, in my experience, to specialize in larger buck knifes and similar items of hairy-man paraphernalia, which are just generally less handy for my purposes, seeing as I'm hardly ever skinning bucks or wading hip-deep through leeches in darkest Vietnam.

New Balance & Birkenstock do not, however, make any shoes that are very good for dancing in. And I've never liked Birks anyhow. The toe-grip just annoys me.

[alces2.livejournal.com]

Well, with respect to hairy-man paraphernalia, yes and no. Spyderco's Military knife is rather large but I have found it most excellent in the garden and I haven't skinned a single buck with it nor has it encountered any leeches. Now admittedly the SOG Pentagon isn't really for daily use but the SOG Twitch is a marvelous pocket knife. And then there are lovely little ones like Columbia River's PECK with a Rainbow Handle and Blade or their entertaining Van Hoy Snap Lock, a lovely mechanism. I'm still waiting to get that perfect blade made of Damascus steel which can be awe-inspiring but require a bit more pocket change than most. Oh, sorry, I cannot explain this strange affection for knives and I am a vegetarian, see, but . . . . and I shouldn't even start on boxing.

Yeah, New Balance probably aren't the best dancing shoes and Birkenstocks toe-grip can take a little getting used to, but I have. They're fine for me.

[athenais.livejournal.com]

I miss having a mountain spirit nearby. I grew up with Rainier and Hood, and although I love the Bay Area there's nothing closer than Shasta which engenders the same awe and response. I'm always thrilled if it's out when I'm home.

[marykaykare.livejournal.com]

I always thought Mt. Diablo was pretty cool myself. But I grew up in Oklahoma.

MKK

[alces2.livejournal.com]

I agree with you but I live in the Tri-Valley area and grew up in Kansas (well, except for a couple of years in Illinois and I don't recall any mountains there either, just a few more hills)

[athenais.livejournal.com]

I think it doesn't do it for me because it's not conical, it doesn't get snow, and it doesn't dominate the landscape the way the other three do. But it is pretty cool.

[alces2.livejournal.com]

It does get snow occasionally. We took Bill Bowers up there once to see the snow. He wasn't impressed.

[cluefairy-j.livejournal.com]

I miss Mt. Rainier.