Local Perversion or Sign of the Times?

[akirlu]

So, those of you who do not live in the Pacific Northwest, does the phrase "bikini espresso" call to mind several local establishments, some, or none? Does the phrase "bikini espresso" even signify anything to you, or is it on par with "surfboard sandwich" or "wetsuit salad"?

Okay, other shoe: In these parts the landscape is fairly littered with drive-thru espresso shacks whose primary gimmick (to distinguish themselves from all the other drive-thru espresso shacks) seems to be baristas clad in bikinis. These are not in any way related to each other, except by having decided to go for the same gimmick. In fact, they're enough of a thing that for a while (perhaps still) there was a problem with one or more patrons exposing themselves to the staff. (This seems readily fixable with web cams and phone cameras, but that's a training matter, and might force the shack owners to pony up hazard pay...)

Does your neighborhood have any espresso shacks with bikini-clad baristas?

Comments

[dd-b.livejournal.com]

I have not noticed any such thing here (but I don't drink the stuff). Also I have never noticed a drive-through coffee house.

[sraun]

I've noticed two or three of them - iraunink finds them amusing and watches for them.

I don't know of any that have baristas dressed in bikinis - it would seem to be a problem in MN many months of the year.

There was the Topless Coffee Shop in Maine. It burned down a couple of weeks ago, and it's been declared arson. The owner was un- or under-insured, and the last I heard he won't be re-opening.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

Yah, no kidding re: MN months. They might be wearing bikinis under their parkas, but I'd never know it.

Having gone about in a bikini in Minnesota (as I suspect neither of the parties above me has, despite them both living here), I can attest that it takes a warmer ambient temperature to be comfortable than even a regular swimsuit. Turns out when everybody's mom told them that x% of heat was lost through the head, they were already assuming that everybody was wearing, y'know, other clothes.

[bibliofile.livejournal.com]

Yes, what goes in MN also works for most of the upper midwest: not likely.

We do have at least a couple of drive-thru coffee places.

[davidschroth.livejournal.com]

Actually, I used to patronize a drive-thru coffee house in St Paul (corner of Snelling and mumble-mumble, just south of I-94). They are no longer there.

[txanne.livejournal.com]

Wow, that's even grosser than Hooters. No, we don't have those here.

[akirlu.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I don't remember such things in California, either, but in Costa Mesa there was the Bikini Barber, whose rather implausible slogan was: "No gimmicks, just a great haircut." Unless, as Hal observed, you consider barbers in bikinis a gimmick, of course.

[hal-obrien.livejournal.com]

There does appear to be a franchise chain, Java Girls, and they have a list of locations (http://www.javagirls.net/locationmap.html) (WA, OR, CA, NV, AZ, TX, MO, FL).

Looking over a Google list, there are lots of one-off shops, too, but these guys appear to be aggressive in their growth. {cough}

Oh, and as I say here (http://libertango.livejournal.com/22033.html), that was what I remember Bikini Barbers' ad line as being: "Haircuts for $10, no gimmicks. Unless you consider a cute barber in a bikini a gimmick."

[vgqn.livejournal.com]

I'll take the surfboard sandwich, please. A wetsuit salad sounds horrifying, frankly.

Which is to say, no, never seen any around here. Obviously you do have a much higher per capita espresso stand count up there, so more competition to stand out.

Do the scummy owners heat the places sufficiently for those poor baristas?

[akirlu.livejournal.com]

I got the sense from the one evening news item I saw about the guy who flashed a bikini barista that yes, the shack was heated. That may not help all that much if you're forever having to lean out an open window to collect payment, make change, and hand out coffee cups, though. And I would guess the consideration for employees probably varies from one owner to the next.

But yeah, we do have a remarkable encrustation of drive-thru espresso places, with not much to distinguish between them in the absence of gimmicks. I've never patronized one, myself, though I was sorta tempted by the place out in the middle of the woods near Mt. Rainier that advertised itself as having a "Hunters' Special: Hazlenut Mocha Latte". Because nothing warms the bones of a tired hunter quite like a hazlenut mocha latte.

[voidampersand.livejournal.com]

That would be a great thing to have while they are cooking up the Chicken Cacciatore.

[idahoswede.livejournal.com]

My neighbourhood doesn't even have espresso shacks, never mind the bikinis (besides, they'd rust or mould here anyway).

[akirlu.livejournal.com]

Seattle weather isn't *that* different from the UK, really.

[greyorm.livejournal.com]

Sadly, we do not.
Though we don't have espresso shacks, either.
Let alone drive-through espresso shacks.
Nor many bikinis regardless.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

They haven't hit the UK yet. They probably will.

[don-fitch.livejournal.com]

In Covina, CA? Ha! (Not that I'd especially want any, mind you, or patronize one.) Actually, we seem to consider ourselves remarkably Modern by having any (or several) Espresso places at all. And about half of them are (or were) Starbucks *sigh*

[barondave.livejournal.com]

Well, the topless donut shop closed after all the foofarah, but I don't know if that's "on a par" (sorry, nitpick alert) with bikini espresso places.

In general, I'm in favor of female pulchritude being displayed, as long as she enjoys the attention. On the other hand, I'm a practical kinda guy, and I should think that bare skin and boiling hot liquids are a bad match.

[akirlu.livejournal.com]

I'm not finding any strong data to suggest that "on par" is not also idiomatically correct, Dave.

[barondave.livejournal.com]

I suspect this is a case where the idiom has degraded by over misuse, like "imply/infer". Grump grump grump.

[frandowdsofa.livejournal.com]

Coffee bars should look like this http://www.nickelinthemachine.com/2008/07/soho-and-the-2-is-coffee-bar.html

[cluefairy-j.livejournal.com]

a topless coffee shop that opened in Maine sometime in the past year was burned down by an arsonist a few weeks ago......guess we're not ready for that kind of thing out here. Gay marriage, yes. Topless coffee shops, no.

[akirlu.livejournal.com]

Seems everyone but me knew about that topless coffee shop.

Then again, about the only circumstance I could picture myself patronizing a topless coffee shop would be if it were the only one available at some bizarre hour of the night, or because it was at a topless resort, or something similar, where people were topless because, well, everyone was anyway. So I guess I'm not really ready either. Bring on that gay marriage, though.

[randy-byers.livejournal.com]

"Surfboard sandwich" sounds like a sexual slang to me for some bizarre reason. Turns out it's actually A Recipe to Treasure from Ann Page.

[akirlu.livejournal.com]

It frightens me that you were able to find a picture of something called a "surfboard sandwich". I honestly thought I made that up, just now, by conjoining two nouns by the same formula that might be said to apply to "bikini espresso," i.e. (beach item) + (food or drink).

Thus we also get "volleyball soufle" and "snorkle beer" and ... well, play the home game, kids.

[randy-byers.livejournal.com]

I thought that's what you were doing, but I decided to google it just in case. Which has also brought me to: snorkelingbeer.com.

[akirlu.livejournal.com]

Would you STOP THAT!?! At this rate I'm going to type "Cthulu" in my LJ and you will summon an actual Elder God using nothing but Google and an unhealthy curiosity.

[seawasp]

http://www.hello-cthulhu.com/?date=2003-11-30

[cluefairy-j.livejournal.com]

mmmm.....volleyball souffle..... but if you start serving sand shakes i'm OUTTA HERE.

[profgeek.livejournal.com]

They'd better not spill, that's all I can say.

[akirlu.livejournal.com]

Unless it's on a customer who's exposing his privates, in which case, go for it.

[don-fitch.livejournal.com]

Why "his"? After all, in this Era of Gender Equality....

[bibliofile.livejournal.com]

Don't know about statistics, but I personally have been flashed only by men.

[don-fitch.livejournal.com]

Me too. (Actually, "a man", because it's happened only once -- and that was in West Hollywood, presumably by a hustler who'd mistaken me for a potential trick.) My guess is that the statistics would be overwhelmingly male.

[akirlu.livejournal.com]

Serial killers aren't always men, either, but that's the overwhelming way to bet.

[davidschroth.livejournal.com]

Does your neighborhood have any espresso shacks with bikini-clad baristas?

Not that I'm aware of. The concept doesn't seem like it would be financially viable in Minnesnowta for about 8 months of the year (non-viable portion presumably being the cost of paying for the treatment of frostbitten Tender Bits (tm)).

[athenais.livejournal.com]

Bikini baristas in San Francisco? No. Not even on a warm day. What a bizarre gimmick.

[farmgirl1146.livejournal.com]

Makes the "buy/no buy" decision "no buy"

[akirlu.livejournal.com]

Ayup. I've never patronized one.

[kalimac.livejournal.com]

Complete non-sequitur.

When I did live in the Pacific NW, even the word "bikini" did not call anything to mind, as nobody around there in their right mind would wear one. The word "espresso" didn't call much to mind either, as this was long before the Seattle = coffee equation was born. There were more espresso bars in Berkeley, where I'd lived before, than in Seattle, where there was one tiny coffee bar at Pike's Place called Starbucks.

[mjlayman.livejournal.com]

Nope. We have drive-through Starbucks plus the fast food places, though.

[kateyule.livejournal.com]

Shit, I DO live in the PNW and I've never heard of such a thing.

[akirlu.livejournal.com]

Possibly this is another "benefit" of living in the redneck bits of Greater Seattle, then.

[voidampersand.livejournal.com]

Nope. And it's okay.