Fleecing the Righteous in His Name

[akirlu]

Behold the holy flip flop. Gold wash over sterling with 8 actual Swarovski crystals and only $79.95, payable in four monthly installments. Jesus wept.

Comments

[albionwood.livejournal.com]

If he didn't before, he is now.

[bibliofile.livejournal.com]

For that price, I want a pair of gold-washed flip flops. Y'know, like shoes. OKthxbye!

[del-c.livejournal.com]

Because Jesus was all about the bling.

Having said that, a flip-flop actually would be a cooler, more appropriate and more accurate symbol of what Christianity is all about than the cross is. Just not a gold, jewel-encrusted one.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

How deliciously tasteless.

[akirlu.livejournal.com]

Isn't it? I find it instructive that the online store for this also sells items by Thomas Kincade. My original notification of the existence of this objet was a flier in the junk mail, and it required a double take because at first I thought it was just another ad for cheesy jewelry. It wasn't until I flipped the mailer card over that I noticed that it was supposed to be religious inspirational jewelry. Then I got all excited and had to blog it. Because, as Del says, Jesus was all about the bling.

Or perhaps not.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

Oh totally about bling-

"Crown him with many crowns.
The lamb upon the throne."

Dude just can't get enough of that shiny stuff.

[akirlu.livejournal.com]

Trust you to have the appropriate verse handy. :)

[randy-byers.livejournal.com]

It comes with a Certificate of Authenticity, too! Yes, folks, this is an authentic sham!

However:

California Proposition 65 WARNING for lead crystal:

To enhance optical clarity, the crystal in this product contains lead, a chemical substance known to the State of California to cause cancer and birth defects or other reproductive harm.

[akirlu.livejournal.com]

I'm pretty sure the lead crystal warning is required by law if selling in / to California, so all we really know from that is that they don't think of themselves as criminals. I'm sure Dick Cheney doesn't think of himself as a criminal either.

[iggyspawn.livejournal.com]

Wow thanks for pointing that out in the nick of time. I was just about to buy one so that I could drink whiskey from a blinged out flip-flop.

I have the feeling anyone that isn't a toddler and needs to worry about lead exposure from this thing will likely be past the point where lead has any noticeably detrimental effect.

[randy-byers.livejournal.com]

You obviously are not a man of science! Lead from crystals can spread through the luminiferous ether, you know.

[albionwood.livejournal.com]

One of the more ironic Prop 65 warnings, since you'd have to be brain-damaged to buy the thing in the first place.

This immediately brought Monty Python to mind

[dakiwiboid.livejournal.com]

I remembered the scene in "The Life of Brian" in which he loses a sandal and the followers split over whether it's a holy sign about whether they're supposed to gather shoes together or cast them off entirely, then one group of them picks it up and starts following the Holy Sandal.

Re: This immediately brought Monty Python to mind

[akirlu.livejournal.com]

Yes, that was my first association, too, once I realized from the mailer that the cheesy rhinestone flipflop was supposed to be inspirational.

[claireeddy.livejournal.com]

OK, I am officially boggled. I can't make up my mind whether to be truly appalled or get one for my clueless rightie relative...who would love it.

--claire (who WILL NOT give money to these evil people of course)

[akirlu.livejournal.com]

I think my threshold for being truly appalled has been raised. I don't find the wear-bling-for-Jesus thing any worse than buying the little soccer-playing-Jesus statuette for your AYSO kids.

Just wait 'til I did through my mail backlog and blog the really gorgeous art glass pyrex dildos I got spammed with last year.

[holyoutlaw.livejournal.com]

If you started a "wear bling for Jesus" movement, and capitalized it correctly, you could retire in two years. Lots of American fundies believe that material success on this plane is a sign of blessing.

[akirlu.livejournal.com]

I would only start a WBFJ movement as a piece of satire, but in the ongoing War on Satire, I have the feeling it could easily be confused with a straight pitch. Still, retiring in two years is an appealing thought...

[intelligentrix.livejournal.com]

Which of course led me to think of the following exchange overheard by slave_driver:

Girl 1, admiring friend's gold WWJD necklace: "Wow, that's nice!"
Girl 2, proudly: "It was my brother's but I stole it from him!"

[akirlu.livejournal.com]

Well, I did *know* that irony was dead, but at this point we seem to be jumping on the wet stain that used to be the dead horse that was flogged to death long ago.

[mjlayman.livejournal.com]

Same site that sold the Irish Nativity Tree I blogged about recently.

We have a Hawaiian jewelry store here that sells much nicer flipflops. What really tempts me is the white gold plumeria and they've shown it in the paper with a ruby center.