At Least It Isn't Penis Enlargement

[akirlu]

Today Linked-in thinks that I might want to apply for a job with Weitz & Luxenberg | Defective Hip Lawyers. I guess I'd be more inclined if there was a comma. Still, it is an improvement over the other day when Groupon thought I might want to get a coupon for discounted laser toe fungus removal. O, for the days of pyrex art glass dildo spam, I tells ya.

Comments

[don-fitch.livejournal.com]

I don't know about "spam", or "pyrex", but I'm told on good authority that art that art-glass dildo bongs are still available.

[akirlu.livejournal.com]

Comforting to know. I was mostly harkening back to the one and only time a piece of genuine spam e-mail informed me of something I didn't know about, but at least in principle, wanted to: it was an ad for art glass dildos, made of Pyrex/borosilicate glass, with these absolutely amazing swirls of color and shimmering opalescence inside them. At the time, I had no idea there even was such a thing as a glass dildo at all -- indeed I was immediately reminded of the Niven story "What Good is a Glass Dagger" -- let alone an art glass one, let alone such ravishingly beautiful art glass ones. What I'm really pining for here is spam, and other commercial e-mail, that genuinely informs me of interesting things I did not know about, instead of repeating the same old tired plugs. At the moment, the latter are almost all claiming to be hot stock tips.

[kate-schaefer.livejournal.com]

I once got spam that asked me if I wanted a blue soldier. It was early spam days, some time in the nineties, and the blue soldier turned out to be some kind of natural gas ceramic range, like an Aga, made in Korea and marketed by people who learned English experimental poetry as a second language. I saved that bit of spam for years, but I've lost track of it now.

[holyoutlaw.livejournal.com]

I once even purchased a glass dildo. The recipient of the gift was negatively enthused.

[akirlu.livejournal.com]

Ha! "English experimental poetry as a second language" is brilliant. Yes, I hung on to the glass dildo spam for quite a while because I was so charmed with it. Wound up losing track of it in a change of internet providers; very sad.

[akirlu.livejournal.com]

You gotta know your audience, I guess. The ones in the spam were so ravishing, if I got one, I'd want to put it on display. Much like the Hello, Kitty vibrator.

[daystreet.livejournal.com]

I imagine it also depends, in this case, on the particular meaning of the phrase "recipient of the gift".

[billeyler.livejournal.com]

Thanks for "Today's Chuckle!"

[akirlu.livejournal.com]

Yeah, okay, 'cause the tenor of this conversation could still see the gutter if it did a pull up. Thx. :)

[akirlu.livejournal.com]

Nothin's more reliable than middle-grade humor, man. :)