Various Open Letters to the Cats

[akirlu]

Dear Lefty-

"Sit on my face" is not meant to be taken literally, is not something I usually say anyway, and if I did, it wouldn't be directed at a cat. Certainly not at 4:00 in the morning when I'm trying to sleep.

Thanks ever so,

Sleepy


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Dear Spike-

You wouldn't run out of water in the downstairs bowl nearly so fast if you didn't insist on slinging it around the room. Thank goodness there's a floor drain, eh? Coming upstairs to redistribute the dog's water all over the kitchen floor is not my idea of sharing the love. Keep this in mind the next time you want tuna.

Best,

Mrs. Damp Socks

* * *

Dear Tinka-

Yes, it was a lovely bird, I'm sure, but could we focus on squirrels please?

Sincerely,

Would Like to Eat Her Own Hazel Nuts